escaping2nowhere

Ritual of creation

2012-01-05T15:12:00.009+05:30

Never spoken to and never seen in those long dreams
Where the roads made lonely by the cold winter nights
Sleep without hoping for the morning sun
Flowers withered and forgotten in a faraway forest
Stare without a lament as a shrill prayer rises in a crumbling shrine
In a frightened village about to be drowned by the river
swollen by the slanting arrows of the angry rain gods
A violent wind shakes the branches of the trees queued along the road
Which took the gypsies and their songs to the valley where the voices
Keep echoing long after leaving the mouth
Unknown insects crawling on the wet soil leaving a mark
Unseen dogs wailing loudly from a faraway place
As the raging river carries dead cows to the paddy fields
Shapes and boundaries vanish as a darkness keeps growing
The skies keep pouring with a monotonous sound
Water drips from the clothes drenched in rain
Shivering bodies shrink for relief against the cold wind
As the eyes scared and mesmerized
Watch the ritual of creation
Pass through the phase of destruction

Tonight's gonna be a good night

2011-12-31T20:42:00.003+05:30

Hustling through the crowded corridor where a bored security guard
Flips the pages of a notebook as the maids of the houses enter their names
Before walking towards the elevator
Listening to the folk songs I heard from my father many years ago
On the bank of Ganga on a winter night with a bright full moon
That was watched by fifteen million sleepless eyes
Leaving for the ancient town where cold water flows in a narrow river
Near the temple where mighty kings prayed with their queens
A happiness builds up in the air as the night comes closer
Music starts spreading everywhere as excited children run around
Traffic cops get prepared for the drunken drivers
As Google plans a new celebration on its page
A happy night ready to carry out all its plans
In the discotheques and on the televisions
I will be sleeping in a bus on a broken road
When these images of joy will start exploding
Welcoming a new calendar with hopes unexplained
But needed too much to be discarded
I may not make you a phone call tonight but don't you already know
All my wishes for you
A wonder for your eyes
A sweet song for your lips
Strength for your body, peace for your soul
Skies for your wings , ground for your feet
A beautiful year and a beautiful life
And yes the roads without the breathe testing traffic cops
And the morning without any hangovers
But before all that a beautiful night with that happy song
Tonight's gonna be a good night
Yeah, tonight's gonna be a good night !!

Show Some Love

2011-12-31T03:07:00.005+05:30

See the smiling face shining in the lights of road
A giant board flashing temperature of the city
Songs enter heads as rum goes deeper into the blood
Show some love, have a dance with the lonely boy
Show some love, give a happy tip to the happy waiter
Show some love, play some Beatles songs
See the angry bouncer grabbing my arms
See the crowd singing behind me
Show some love, get me another drink
Show some love ,let me sing some more
Show some love, don't throw me out
Show some love, drop me to home
Show some love, get me an auto rickshaw
Show some love, let me sleep on the floor
If you don't have a bed for me

A glimpse

2011-12-30T21:52:00.003+05:30

Unseen bombs turn the newly painted blue colored train into crap

As indifferent F-16s pierce the sky with great speed and no feeling

People shouting in the streets against the government

That prefers Alcohol to grass

Dead fish abandoned by the fishermen getting eaten by the hungry dogs

Who barked out of habit at the new tourists walking on the beach

A fog envelopes the road that welcomed the cars with yellow lights

A cold wind reaches the skin through the layers of clothing

A man shrinks under a blanket on a bus stand

That saw the last bus many hours ago

Confusing noises inside the parliament as an old man fasts

Surrounded by young ones who won't

Rumors about a revolution spread on the Facebook

Gaining six hundred likes in sixty seconds

As the law wants more control on the internet

Window glasses lowered as the cigarette feels the fire from the lighter

Strange dreams where worms crawl out of hair and eyes

Drugged poems read loudly against the songs from the FM radio

As the cab driver waits at a red light with a surprised face

A stream made black by the chemicals fills the city with a bad smell

Cows walk slowly across the crowded road where cars honk without any patience

A man walking through the metal detector door at the airport

A man rushing to the metro train as doors close

A speeding car stopped by the traffic cops

A light breaking through the cloudy skies to reach the tall building

A voice slowly rising from the silence of the afternoon

A picture freezes in a moment of unusual peace

A dry leaf falls from the tree as a breeze moves

A glimpse of the long chased meaning

But not long enough to be described or even to be remembered later

As the city shivers

2011-12-23T19:31:00.013+05:30

Grim faced gamblers sitting on the ground in a circle
Assessing the strength of their cards before disclosing
As a car moves through the narrow street
Upsetting the Cricket playing kids
Who left their homes when the fog was still dense
The sun still denied the right to shine brightly
As the Metro runs through the heart of the city
A moment divided between a superficial smile
And a deep nostalgia
When tea spills on my hand from the plastic cup
Water pours to wash it away
As the dry brown leaves gathered near the big tree
Fly for a while with the wind
And then settle down on the footpath
The working hours come to a close
And crowds start gathering on the bus stands
I look at my face in the rear view mirror of a car
Just before the car starts moving
The loud conversations of middle aged men
Goes far away as I start walking
The winter evening starts slipping into darkness
As the sun completely fades away
A circle of old men shrinks around a small fire
A mad man walks naked without feeling cold
The trees surrender their outlines to the darkness
The watchman at the office gate lights a cigarette
Before pulling covering his ears with a woolen cap
A silence spreads everywhere as the city shivers

Whispers Of A Night

2011-12-20T03:53:00.001+05:30

Sound of the revolving fan that dries the clothes
Washed hurriedly in the middle of the night
Sound of the moving bunch of keys hanging on a nail
In the wall of the drawing room
Where a TV speaks to a sleeping man
Water flows from the bathroom tap
Unnecessarily filling up a bucket
As the rats scamper across the kitchen
Whispers of a night
Cast in a concrete silence
That never goes even as the noises keep coming

A silence goes deep

2011-12-19T23:47:00.008+05:30

Water spattered on the floor
I walk on my toes across the room
Outline of a whispering mouth against a small ear
From a bean bag in the balcony near my room
An obscure road where mud flies high as a car starts moving
A tiny airport that spent the day without any flights
A medieval church without any windows and without any doors
An ancient temple of crumbling walls and lengthy legends
Echo of the sound from a guitar stretches endlessly
Giant faces drawn with fingers on the sand of the beach
Rainbow spotted in the middle of a jungle
As an Ostrich walks away elegantly
The sky spotlessly blue rests against a wind about to die
A Sanskrit prayer recited with closed eyes and folded hands
A darkness starts growing as the praying peaks
A stranger quietly sleeps near the bonfire
A wandering dog stops and sits under a tree
A bird flies as the noise of the wind starts spreading everywhere
A silence goes deep into the soul troubled for years

I

2011-12-19T02:18:00.004+05:30

A silent night till I started hearing laughter

Of happy children running round the swimming pool

Where no one swims cos' there's no water

Why is it still called the swimming pool

Fuzzy pictures from the past and future

Seen in the longest moment since time arrived

Speculators guessing share prices and existence of God

Fund raising activists selling Christmas lamps

Clown making faces but no one laughs

Are clowns same as actors I ask a friend

Clown is the deepest part of your soul

When will I meet the clown in me

When you are ready enough

The grass selling man arrives at the flyover

The waiting man smiles as he takes out some cash

If you wanna write like Ginsberg
You should be buying LSD

I laugh and start walking

Walking on the footpath till I find the man
Selling cigarettes and tea on a cycle

Traffic cops testing drivers for alcohol

As they come back from the weekend party

I once drank and drove

I once paid a bribe

I once stole a greeting card to send to a girl

Who didn't know my name

I want to go to a rainbow gathering

I want to travel with the gypsies and their songs

I want to swim in the sea when the moon arrives
I want to stand in the balcony before I sleep
I want to find a bus before I reach home

Meditating faces

2011-12-18T00:52:00.008+05:30

Meditating faces in the sky stare at the sand of the beach
A ritual of the full moon night
Flutes, guitars, drums and mouth harps
All gathered around the fire to sing or listen
All strangers and everyone known
A perfect place to be with all and be alone
An Indian like Hungarian who walked in the Himalayas
For two months without any shoes
A juggler who can juggle seven balls
Near the novice who struggles with three
The moon covered in the shadow of the earth
Mesmerized eyes fixed on it till a star falls
And wishes flash promptly
The man who sleeps on the sand made tired by yoga
Sings a song of Kabir remembering his father's voice
He hasn't called him for a week now
He hasn't read a word from the book of poems
He put in his bag before leaving for the airport
He hasn't written a word of the story he wants to write
He opens his eyes wondering
If cannabis was legal in all Indian states
The wind gets cooler before it gets slower
Strange sounds come from the trees where a girl pees
Astrology charts spread across the sky
As the sound of OM vibrates through the music of the beach
Frozen images of people and dogs as the waves move
Without getting seen
Why did the dog bark when I was walking
Through the streets of the village
Why was the child angry in her mother's arms
Why was that woman cleaning floor without a broom '
The priests don't allow the foreigners in the temple
The villagers never swim in the sea
The fish that were swimming in the day
Were getting eaten in the night
It changes it does
If you control the planets it remains the same
The astrologer says in a mysterious voice
I will never pay you to please the planets
Astrologer smiles as I laugh loudly before the dogs bark
The Astrological chart folds up and vanishes
I look at the stars
Without remembering the name or shapes of constellations
Shape of the stars and the shape of their groups
Shape of the faces and the shape of the eyes and nose
Whats the shape of my thoughts
Then a strange whisper in my ears
And all merges in a frozen silence
Guitars without sounds , mouths without voices
Trees without names made more unknown by the darkness
The rough road hurting the naked feet that move towards a temple
A silent girl suddenly starts singing
As the memory of a face fades away in a blur
That keeps coming and then goes away
I keep walking through the night as the moon gets bright again
I keep walking till I fall asleep on wet sand near the rocks
Where lovers kissed yesterday
Where fishermen will watch the fish caught in the net tomorrow

How Beautiful It Is

2011-12-17T18:36:00.002+05:30

Momentarily intoxicated by the blast of perfume
From the tall girl in red clothes
With a short guy with spiked hair
They are going to the party as I walk to my house
Christmas carnival a week before Christmas
Where little girls dance wearing Santa Claus caps
While adoring cameras are busy clicking
Hanging around the neck of their parents
A golden dog on his evening walk
With the servant of his house
Jumps and starts sniffing me as I touch his silky hair
A smile comes over my lips as a thought arrives
How beautiful it is to find someone
When you need to belong

Noise and the songs

2011-12-12T23:25:00.000+05:30

Amateur sounds on a lazy noon

Where five black crows and two brown dogs

Sit together watching the sea waves

That carry a million reflections of the sunlight

A cautious trumpet and three struggling flutes

Of wood and steel

And yet there are moments where confusing sounds

Turn into music

And then the noon goes on refining the sounds

And soon a song starts finding its way

While the noises undesired from the start

And to be soon forgotten with a sigh of relief

Just blow away with the lazy wind beyond the hill

On the edge of the sea

Searching for another heart

That’s desperate to sing its own song

Boundaries

2011-12-12T23:11:00.002+05:30

The restless procession of waves

Keeps rushing to the shore again and again

Watched by the silent little hill for centuries now

Going back into the sea

Only to return every time

How attractive are the boundaries

That we cannot cross

What you wanted to say

2011-12-04T02:51:00.003+05:30

Treat that noise well for it might be the music of tomorrow
Bring that fear close for it maybe the root of your courage
Let that scream out for all that you were hiding
Maybe the truth you knew but never believed in
Whisper to yourself the sound you heard even as you tried to ignore
Look at the name they gave to you
Look at the one you chose for yourself
Bless yourself and walk away from all that keeps chasing you
Blow your trumpet not because you miss being heard
But because its been long since you said
What you wanted to say

A scene colored by street lights

2011-12-02T15:01:00.000+05:30

Yellow frame and Guava trees along the narrow street
Yellow frame and a small noiseless car speeds away
Yellow frame and cold night looks at the silent stars
Yellow frame and drunken thoughts in a dark balcony

Like the tail of a comet

2011-11-25T23:20:00.002+05:30

The fat dog in the elevator sniffing me
As I walk in after a moment's surprise
I think about the one who came to our house
When he was fourteen days old
Red buses climbing up the flyover
As I walk on the footpath trying to avoid
The traffic jam before a meeting
Where I have to look smart and professional
Looking at a grove of trees
Through the dark window glasses of the multinational bank
I almost believe there's a forest in the middle of the city
While a man tries to sell a credit card to me
Paying the bill in the restaurant
I see the curious face of the jolly waiter
Yet again I am confused about how much to tip
I have been walking for a long time
I haven't looked at the giant hoardings
That are always filled with exclamation marks
I haven't even seen the man who sells
Cigarettes kept in a white sack under the tree
There's nothing that I am trying to avoid
And yet there's nothing that I see as I walk along
Except a blur of memories
That keeps stretching endlessly like the tail of a comet

Schemes of the night

2011-11-23T23:32:00.000+05:30

I only saw the headlights
I only saw the streetlights
Bright and yellow into the eyes
That couldn't select or the reject the colors
Thrown to them
I swear I didn't see the road
I swear I didn't see the cars
I saw the concrete footpath under my feet
I saw my green slippers lying still away from my feet
I didn't see the gentle trees
That were obsequiously lined up
In the violent morning wind
It could be about the night
Or it could be about me
But one thing is certain
All those who found a place in the morning's plan
Should not take their place for granted
In the schemes of the night
That couldn't remember the morning

How long must the silence walk

2011-11-23T21:04:00.000+05:30

No word spoken and so much told
The widening eyes that shrink some times
The vigorous movement of the hands
That touched the chest again and again
A silence pregnant with sounds
The kids from the special school for the deaf
Crossed me on the footpath of the Airport road
That will change its name after few kilometers
I kept thinking how long must the silence walk
To find a voice

So close to the threshold

2011-11-19T01:15:00.001+05:30

Succumbing silently and still not accepting
The end of rebellion
Careful enough not to be heard
I speak in whispers and still the story spreads
Defending has always been so difficult
And still I don't find an urge to attack
The discomfort of being so close to the threshold
And still not take the decisive step
The weirdness of the scream that left the lungs
But never came out of the mouth

Making you tired

2011-11-18T23:42:00.001+05:30

The walls made wet by the rain water

The grass made dry by the Sun

You feel its a gift to be able to move away

To be able to escape

But when you find the sun light and the raindrops everywhere

You start thinking that the wall and the grass

Are better off

Cos' your motion does nothing except making you tired

To be street smart

2011-11-11T01:38:00.002+05:30

And then people start thinking
Yes they start thinking when they find
That their feelings weren't right
To represent a feeling with a thought
To find constraints without addressing infinity
To look around and think what can be
Without wondering what could have been
To be street smart and worldly wise
And still wonder how much you lost
While gaining all that you gained

When I was telling lies

2011-11-11T01:16:00.001+05:30

I wish I could blame it on you
Or her or Him
I wish I could say with aggressive face and hands
That I was right all the time
And then dare you to prove me wrong
I wish I had the confidence of the small town bitches
Who went to big league B schools
I wish I wasn't interested in both sides of the story
I wish I could pretend that Truth was solid
Even as I saw that I looked more confident
When I was telling lies

Meaning of existence

2011-11-11T01:06:00.000+05:30

I was invited but I didn't go
I wasn't invited when I wanted to go
I was at odds with the invitation
I wasn't waiting , I wasn't buying new clothes
Or deodorants for the night long party
I wasn't waiting for the Friday night
In fact I was planning to sleep till death
But yes I was happy when the fuckers invited me
Its strange how shallow meaning of existence can be

A question about autonomy

2011-11-11T00:50:00.003+05:30

Did the sixties make the Beatles

Or the Beatles made the sixties

Did we need the Internet

Or the Internet needed us

Was my weekend high really real

Or it was just an advertisement for Old monk

Did The wanderers really wander as they wanted

Or they were guided by Google maps

When words seemed to fail

2011-11-10T15:40:00.005+05:30

When the water of the sea met the light of the moon
Yesterday
I felt something
Something so deep
But I couldn't find the words to explain
When a whisper broke my sleep in the late hours of
Night yesterday
I looked around
And for long I tried
But I couldn't find the voice anywhere
And the mighty river dried in the summers again
But we knew
It will come back
Come back with rains
And we will go for a swim again
When I moved to the silence of the forests
Away from the noise
I closed my eyes
And I saw a face
And then the face just faded away
When you asked about the meaning of the things
In our life yesterday
I didn't speak
And the silence reigned
And the silence reigned when words seemed to fail

Dusk on promenade in Pondicherry

2011-11-09T12:47:00.002+05:30

Sitting ten feet higher than the restless sea
I take the breeze on my face before
Letting it go to the crowded beach street
Where yellow Auto Rickshaws with squeeze ball horns
Enter in haste from Rue De Bussy
Which saw a drunk man crash into a deep sleep
On the footpath in the afternoon
The growing moon still a few days away
From its spherical glory
Already out on the sky grey everywhere
Except a thin patch of light orange
Which was crossed by two dozen white birds
Just when the first street light came alive
Bubble selling businesswomen covered in dirty Sarees
Keep blowing bubbles from their pipes trying to attract
The little boy in his mother's arms
A thin layer of silver starts spreading
On the body of the sea
As the moon starts getting brighter against the evening
That decisively falls for the dark
The first star finally arrives on the sky

Ground of relief

2011-11-09T12:13:00.001+05:30

There comes a yellow gleam
On the black wet road
From reflections of the street lights
Beaten all day by dust and smoke
And now getting washed silently
As an impatient crowd waits for the bus
Near a shady restaurant
Where five street dogs have contently settled
On the dry stairs filled with cigarette buds
It never rains this time of the year
It shouldn't be so noisy this time of the night
An old nun in a black robe
Tells a young one in white
I ask her how it feels to work for God
Its not work, I just love my lord
She says with an offended face and walks away
As I mumble some apologetic words
For a minute I think about this long distance affair
And then walk through pools of water on the road
To buy some water from the small shop
Near the dark, wasted empty ground
Where travelers pee before getting in the bus
For a long journey through the night

Too deeply entrenched

2011-11-03T22:46:00.000+05:30

Dread the morning hangover
But don't stop drinking on the weekend
Spread the message of change but don't tell
Your neighbor to stop telling you neighborhood gossip
Where you stand is a strange place
Or maybe its your eyes
What I mean is that shut the fuck up
Till you really have something to say
Cos' I am too deeply entrenched in my own superficiality
To care about yours

I love

2011-11-03T21:17:00.005+05:30

I love the little sparrow drinking water
I love the grass that turned green thinking about the rain
I love the eyes that smiled with the lips
I love the curious faces in the small village
Where an Audi stayed for thirty four minutes
I love the bright eyes of the dull looking beggar
I love the cool wind that touches my face
After touching the ads on the body of meru cab
I love the silence of the night
I love the noise of the young men on bus stands
Out of their homes on a lazy morning
With heavy laptops on their shoulders
I love it all as long as I am not caught in traffic jam

I was trying to forget her

2011-10-30T01:51:00.002+05:30

I loved the girl who had responsibilities
I loved that girl who always came to college
In her favorite clothes
Its easy to choose a favorite when you don't have a choice
I have remembered her on two sixty five nights
In the last one year
On the remaining hundred I was trying to forget her

Canon of equanimity

2011-10-30T01:35:00.000+05:30

This was the river that that was frozen in the winter
This was the sun that fucked us all in the summer
And it was us all the time who went on with our lives
Telling our self that these were phases that end
Although the end always looked and still looks
Very far from the moment that contains us
We will struggle and we will fight
Most of the times in vain
And somehow a canon of equanimity will be established
Even as the frozen rivers start flowing with full force
Even as the burning sun starts hiding behind the monsoon clouds

If they don't live in this world

2011-10-30T01:17:00.001+05:30

I haven't seen the moon in the sky
I don't see the yellow lights in the street today
Outside the building where I live
I have never seen the faces of my neighbors
I have always traveled alone in the elevators
Which has capacity to carry eight people
With an average weight of sixty eight
I have often thought if this was a ghost town
I have often wondered where do my fantasies come from
If they don't live in this world

In a long long time

2011-10-30T00:37:00.001+05:30

The rum has spoken the truth it was allotted
Janis Joplin has been singing for so long
That the sixities came closer than 2011
The cold wind from the clouds has told me
That its gonna be a very very coughy night
I haven't thought about life in a while
I have been busy thinking about the weekend blur
I haven't seen the mirror in a long long time
I haven't smiled to myself since you last said
My smile was beautiful

Doubts

2011-10-27T17:21:00.003+05:30

Standing at the small, dingy shop near the bus stand
He sipped some tea from from the small plastic cup
That was chosen cos' he wasn't sure
If the glasses were clean
He talked on the phone for twenty nine seconds
And heard for the remaining Two thousand twenty nine
He was walking with a big bag that had a laptop inside
His right hand went inside the front pocket of the blue jeans
But it never came out even as the beggar boy
Looked with expectation holding his dark infant sister
With a running nose and a smile
That could not have been taught
In the professional beggars' training program

You kept listening

2011-10-25T19:43:00.001+05:30

I was singing under that big tree

And you asked if I could sing another song

I laughed and said stay with me some more time

I just might find something you like

You made a face and I smiled

I smiled and kept singing the same song

You kept listening pretending that you didn't like it

Faint Images from Kumbh 2001

2011-10-06T03:27:00.009+05:30

Hordes of boys from the university hostels
Pour everyday into the ISKCON temple
Hearing about the delicious food served for free
And some thought that Krishna had made
A grand comeback in the season of faith
Streets of the city filled with crowds
That keep walking for hours
To reach the meeting point of the sacred rivers
As the rival groups of naked saints full of anger
Quarrel for the right
To enter in the water first
An American man in Saffron clothes
With a Hindu name given by his Guru
Walks besides me on the bridge over river
Telling how he was born for the second time
In this very place Twenty four years ago
The banks of Ganga proliferated
With countless huts of different sizes
Where believers watch with expectant eyes
As mysterious words and serious faces
Combine with enthusiastically recited prayers
To sell different brands of the spiritual light
The crowds start swelling on the new moon day
All eager for the holy bath on auspicious day
We move in a massive procession for a long time
Getting pushed from all the sides
And cramped for space as the we reach the river
As we take a sin erasing dip in the cold winter water
And then quickly move away from the crowd
Happy and relieved
Not to be dead in a midnight stampede

Masks

2011-10-04T03:36:00.001+05:30

The romance of the beautiful cottage near the lake
The reality of the flat in the crowded city
Do you know what you are really saying
The wanderer on the beaches of Goa
Who slept till noon after smoking hash
The star of the board meetings who remained awake
Till the wee hours working on the power point
Sometimes you irritate me for I wish to define you
This way or that
But then as I think longer I realize
That each man has to choose his own mix
And I am fine with it
As long as you don't forget your face
Even as you justify the masks
You keep changing so frequently

Equal Disrespect

2011-10-04T02:10:00.004+05:30

Could I say that your god is an asshole
If I allowed you to say the same about mine
Could I burn your holy book
If I let you use the pages of mine as toilet paper
Could I laugh at the silly words you utter while praying
I promise I won't mind
If you did a parody of all ancient prayers I learnt from my family
Wouldn't it be nice to not bother about each other's faith
And still not bother about getting killed
Aren't you tired of this constipating equal respect
Which is as superficial as the smile on a new widow's face
Come lets start preparing this new draft
Till the waiter brings tea for us
Come lets adopt the policy of equal disrespect
Cos' that's the best we can give each other truthfully

Dear Papa

2011-10-04T01:44:00.003+05:30

I stopped waking early in the mornings
I stopped reciting the prayers you taught me
And I could never understand
Why you wanted me to wear that thread
The priests called sacred
I don't even remember the last time
I went to a temple
But somehow I remember that blue Inland letter
I sent you describing my days at school
And then you replied how you were missing
The food cooked by ma
I also remember the watch you bought for me
When I failed in my first job interview
I remember how it hurt when you combed my hair
Holding my face in your hand
And I haven't forgotten that dark green t shirt
You bought on my 11th birthday
Yes you were always a little short tempered
And you were never satisfied with my grades
But to be true, In the long run
You turned out to be a patient man
Who stood by his stupid son who never failed to disappoint
And disappoint i still will and then
Blame you for having spoilt me (ha ha!!)
But just let me tell you this before you get angry again
That for all that my silly brain represents
There is nothing in my heart that didn't come from you

When I think about me

2011-10-04T00:37:00.004+05:30

You kept talking about your new sunglasses
As I waited for you to take them off
Have I told you how much I like your eyes
I kept walking through the dark street
Long after the guards of the building started snoring
Would you be scared
If I turned into a vampire tonight
Images mixed by the drops of rum
As I tried to remember the birth marks on my body
And all i could recall was that big mole on you
Is it strange that you come to my mind
When I think about me

Kicking every stone

2011-10-03T15:03:00.003+05:30

Walking off the road on the muddy ground

Kicking every stone in his way

Daddy will be scolding him

For spoiling the new shoes

The big green mango on a very high branch

Keeps teasing the group of little boys

Who tried to climb the tree without success

Ready for the winter morning

Walking to the school in a woolen sweater

Knitted by his mother from the navy blue yarn

Which she bought with her friends

From a small dark shop in the off season

detached from familiarity

2011-09-26T15:38:00.006+05:30

This narrow street perpetually covered with sand
That flies into your eyes when the wind blows
This small temple which was made in memory
Of the monkey who died hanging on the electric wires
And then turned into a god as the invisible hand
Calculated the monetary value of the resurgent faith
This sound of honking from the small, rusty buses
Always filled to capacity but always finding space
To take a few more for a bumpy ride to the railway station
This angry sun which has burnt all the grass
Made alive and green by the monsoon showers
This brown dog with alert ears that runs across
The row of whitewashed houses of the street
All these sounds and images so well known to me
A world once so intimately close to me
And yet, today I walk detached from this familiarity
Seeing myself in the picture but not feeling my presence
I watch a whirlwind carry sand and dry leaves across the street
As I reach the last house that I once used to call my home
For a moment, I am tempted to go inside
But I stop myself
Scared that the door won't open when I knock

some days you are so tired

2011-09-11T01:40:00.001+05:30

A gentle tap on the burning cigarette
And the ash scatters on the wooden floor
The small projector plays a movie on the ceiling
As I watch my face in the mirror
To see if my smile was really beautiful
I heard many voices in my ear
But I didn't know what they were saying
My eyes were closing when when I started to see
Some days you are so tired
That you could sleep without drinking alcohol

Emotion changing descriptions of events

2011-09-10T14:35:00.003+05:30

I was watching the old ceiling fan

Circling slowly with an irritating sound

Before I started doodling on the answer sheet

I knew the result long before the test had started

Then I was sitting near a lake with an old friend

Creating ripples with small, black pebbles

As my father was buying one more form

That could get me into an engineering school

I had wasted time and I had wasted money

And a guilt had started wasting me

When I heard someone mention the big rat race

And in a flash a heavy burden gets released

Those who win are rats by definition

While the losers could have

Another shot at being human beings

I remember telling my friend

Who had smoked one full pack in two hours

After he had failed in one more exam

I had walked with her in the ruins of Hampi

For three ecstatic days with a lingering feeling

That I started calling love

She had first seen me high on grass in a restaurant

Smiling with my eyes closed

I had held her hand sitting under a silent tree

She had been smiling all the time without a word

It was all beautiful till she went back home

And stopped taking my phone calls

A tragic equivalent of the short lived bliss

Arrived to stay on for months and months

Till someone said holiday romance

An instant offence as I feel belittled

My precious treasure reduced
To a seasonal phenomenon

And then a pain releasing moderation

I remember smiling and telling myself

It would have been different
If I had known the term from the start

Isn't it strange

2011-09-09T04:56:00.016+05:30

Isn't it strange to see dead bodies in the street
Which you cross everyday for going to work
That makes you sick even before you start it
And that kind of sickness is still fine
Cos' it comes from your own greedy heart and mouth
You could have walked off with a rucksack on your shoulders
To the beaches in Goa or Gokarna with just enough money
To afford renting a bike or buying grass from men who can speak
Sixteen foreign languages without forgetting their own
But since you don't do it , I am compelled to think
That kind of sickness is probably still fine
But what must be really strange and sickening is
To see dead bodies in the street
Which you cross everyday for going to work
Even if all those who died
Were greedy, self serving rats like you
Who occasionally took offence at growing levels of corruption
But spent most of their days admiring and envying the neighbor
Who never paid taxes and always moved in a car they wished to own
And if they were still living
They most probably wouldn't have made
A difference for better or for worse to your world or mine
But since they are dead and died in that street.
You know which one am I talking about
You know that they have changed your world once again
Though a word like world seems a grand exaggeration
Given the number of places you are scared to go to
Isn't it right that you didn't leave your house for 26 days
After 36 were blown away in the blasts on the railway station
And that your daughter kept pestering you those days
To take her to the shopping mall and you kept refusing
You are saying it was just a phase and you are resilient
As the 24 X 7 news channels are informing you once again
Even as your scared yet thickened skin tries to ignore
That you have had too many of those phases already
Don't you see that the exception has already become the rule
Check the travel advisories for tourists to your city
If you still don't believe me
You have prayed , I know you have prayed
And your mother and wife and children all have prayed
But in all seriousness do you really trust that the fuzzy thing in the skies
Who has been adding some serious weight to the resumes of terrorists
Who funnily enough are the only people who take responsibility for their acts

So tell me how lucky do you feel?
That you were late for work today
Or that your best friend left the place just minutes before the blast
Is that what keeps your fucking faith going
No, no,no! I have nothing against your luck or your faith
I am just angry to see that you never get angry
I mean waiting for that inevitable bomb isn't the same
As waiting patiently in a government office
And to your misfortune, the terrorists don't even take bribes

Remember how you helped your son write
His statement of purpose for admission to a business school
Have you ever thought of writing one for your life
I am sure if you ever tried
It wouldn't be about being blown away in a bomb blast
And though its true that you still could be the next corpse on the street
Even if you somehow found your unborn anger
But before that wouldn't it be nice if you could fuck
Some of those so called leaders and protectors
Who sat on their asses and told you to be resilient
Who kept saying that the situation was under control

I promise I will add my anger to yours
I promise my middle finger will be as straight and stiff as yours
Yes I may still despise you for the dirt that your life is
I may still not smile when you cross me on the road
And you will most certainly never be my friend
In life or on Facebook
But for all the that you stand for
I have never wished for your death
(I would rather have life screwing you)
And I really hope you could start screaming before the next bomb speaks

Rampant

2011-08-28T00:12:00.010+05:30

The woman of substance from magazine cover
walks on the ramp to fetch a good price
For the satin lingerie on her body
The pervert in the front row
Can measure her boobs with his eyes
One stepped into an open gutter on a dark night
There was work in progress without any warning
He had screamed for long before he was gone
"woof woof" the dogs had barked
When the radio taxi crossed his dying scream
The cabs have stopped moving on the road
You'll have to walk all the way
To the obscure hotel behind the beer bar
Where young girls begin to dance
When the old man with five gold rings
Starts showing them hundred rupee notes

Silly conversations in my head

2011-08-24T00:14:00.002+05:30

Tiny cycles pink,blue, red and yellow
Lying on the ground of the parking space
Are they eager to see the kids come back
Or would they rather sleep for some more time
Struggling to start up the washing machine
I turn on the water tap to fill up a bucket
As I hear the dirty clothes laugh and say
Looks we'll be getting some human touch today

The Silence and the happy noises

2011-08-21T02:20:00.000+05:30

Reflections of the white lights of the lamp posts

Float on the water of the pear shaped pool

Where six men swim as the monsoon sky

Prepares to send some more rain
A silent baby sitting in a pram
Watches a girl pinching his cheeks
As his mother keeps talking on her phone
The dark green hedge by the concrete road
Watches the boy who wears a helmet
And keeps falling as he tries to skate
A dog with golden hair walks with his master
In the park where the merry go round
Is occupied by a group of little girls
Who sing a song that makes them laugh
Security guard from the exit gate
Who lived in the mountains years ago
Smiles at the girl who cooks for a house
On the seventh floor
The lazy wind starts picking some speed
And surprises the leaves of the big mango tree
Where a taxi stands waiting for a man
Whose wife first cried and then smiled
When he left his home for the airport
An air of happy noises keeps expanding
Almost sure of defining the mood of the evening
Except that a silence so much my own
Never moves from where it has been standing
A silence so solitary , A silence so confined
Yet so effortlessly clear and distinct
Not resisting or protesting or demanding
But just too content with itself to feel the outside
Even though it hears and understands
And somehow knows it has a relation
With all that looks distant and faraway
But for now chooses to be its own heart
Gathering the tiny raindrops in its palm
As the clouds begin to empty themselves
The happy noises start moving into the houses
I start walking towards the loo as I wonder
If the cigarette smoke ever reaches the sky

Long after it was dark

2011-08-19T17:15:00.001+05:30

The splendid tree that keeps running away
As I look behind for one more glimpse
Through the window of the speeding train
The cool wind that touches my face
And slips away as I start my day
Looking aimlessly from the balcony
That rustic song I heard from gypsies
Who crossed me on the dusty road
When the sun was falling behind the hills
Those elusive moments that gave something
And then left me craving for more
That magic light which I saw only once
But kept searching for long after it was dark

I was feeling good

2011-08-19T15:30:00.000+05:30

I was standing near a crowded mall

When the moon was hiding behind the clouds

I was wearing a jacket to hide my shirt

I was walking drunk through a narrow lane

Where the rain had stopped and the water remained

I kept singing a song without any words

I was drinking beer behind the temple

I was sipping water in the bar

I was feeling good even though I looked strange

Below the ground

2011-08-18T23:23:00.000+05:30

It wasn't barking, I was pretty close when I saw it
It wasn't barking, It was a gentle dog
I wasn't watching when it took my flesh with its teeth
It wasn't moving, I was pretty sure when I saw it
It wasn't moving , It was a dead leaf lying on the ground
I was climbing the stairs when the wind behind me
Took it high in the air
He was very silent , I had never heard his voice
He was very silent, I thought he was mute
He wasn't even trying to speak when a scream
Jumped from his lungs out of his mouth
I was thirsty , I remember I was licking my lips
I was thirsty, I was standing in a vast, dry desert
I wasn't even searching when a splash of water made me wet
A huge river had been flowing for long
Under my feet, below the ground

One

2011-08-18T21:37:00.000+05:30

One that smoked strolling on the road at noon

And saw a crowd hurrying to reach somewhere

One that drank all night without a stop

And laughed at those who remained sober

One that forgot all directions

And thought he had found freedom

One that mocked the believers with a smug face

And then in a moment found himself

Frozen in a prayer with hands joined together

Whispering a wish again and again
Till his eyes closed with sleep and he imagined
A familiar hand caressing his hair kindly

With or without any meaning

2011-08-18T17:10:00.000+05:30

Waterlogged paddy fields watch the sky with disdain
As an eagle glides perfectly in the air
Smoke rises from the huts of the gypsies
Settled for the night in the field near the curving road
A long car, obstructed by a herd of goats, honks loudly
As the young shepherd boy hurriedly clears the road
A white polythene bag incessantly dragged by the wind
Finally finds rest sitting on the thorns of a bush
The camera flash hits my eyes as I hang my legs
Sitting on the edge of a cliff
The sound of praying from a nearby temple grows louder
Without obstructing the reign of silence
A tourist walks around soaking in the bird's eye view
I wonder what's my place in this splendorous scheme
This giant magic portrait filled with colors and designs
A beauty so self contained that it completely ignores me
Though I don't see any anger or malice
And a wish starts growing inside me
A wish to merge with this indifferent grandness
A wish to flow with this life force
To know if there is a feeling
Just for a feeling with or without any meaning

Without a rush

2011-08-08T22:37:00.000+05:30

A flourishing green spreads everywhere
As the raindrops sit quietly on leaves of trees
The wet ground sticks to my shoes as I walk
Noisy children rush to the playground
As a window watches without a feeling
Sounds of laughter from a house
I wish I could see those laughing faces
Dogs on the street bark at the speeding car
That splashes water from the puddles on the road
The drizzle starts to gather force
And all the sounds and faces start fading away
As I keep walking through the rain
Without a rush to reach anywhere

walk quietly

2011-08-07T22:24:00.000+05:30

Let's say the traffic lights were under our control
Let's say we could stop or drive when we wanted
Or let's say nothing at all
And walk quietly on the empty footpath
Without adding any more noises
To the traffic on the crowded road

Close Your Eyes

2011-07-25T01:21:00.000+05:30

The darkness expands on the new moon sea
As the ships made tiny by distance
Watch along with their flickering lights
A procession of waves keeps eroding the beach
A dense stream of cigarette smoke curls slowly in the air
When a sudden gush of wind blows it away
A dog tired from wandering settles quietly in the sand
Sound of a distant laugh arrives and goes away
And a slow moving silence settles all over the place
My eyes about to close when a darkness begins to own me
The apathetic sky watches me lying on the sand
While the invisible horizon
Pierces me with its indifferent gaze
As my motionless eyes keep staring
At a big, dark blank
A big dark blank .......
And then suddenly a light explodes
A face flashes far on the sea
As my heartbeats begin to race
A pair of eyes smiles and she walks to me
"What are you doing here?"she asks
"I didn't know but I guess waiting for you?" I laugh
Then we laugh together and start walking on the beach
"Didn't I tell you to stay away from the dark ?"
She chides me with a smile
"yes....But you delayed in bringing the light!" I complain
"I didn't bring the light.The light brought me"
"Then where did the light come from ? "
"Don't you know its your own ? " she smiles again
I think as a drizzle starts sprinkling the sand
And a cool wind gathers force to blow her hair
"I know what you mean.The light is my own" I tell her
"Its the beauty that lives in my soul
Its all the love that ever reached me" I say with all my belief
"Don't you love using big,fancy words!" She teases and laughs
"But I mean it......"
Then I give up the protest to smile with her
We sit down even as the drizzle goes on
As the night wraps another layer of dark around us
My heart glows with a happiness as I watch her face
The monotonous sound of waves keep sweeping the beach
As she smiles at me while a cool wind kisses my face
The world shrinks into a moment
A moment so still, so silent, so perfect
A moment that stretches on and on forever.....
"Little boy should I drop you home ? " comes back her smile
"Please Guardian angel ! Please do that for me!"
We walk back to my house and we stand at the door
I switch on the lights as she prepares to leave
"Never forget the light.Will you remember this? "she says
I obediently nod my head without any word
She runs her fingers through my hair for a moment
And starts to walk away
I watch her walking as far as I can
Then I sit for a while thinking about her
And a smile suddenly spreads on my face
As a song in her voice begins to play in my head
"Clear the bed and dim the light
Get into your sleeping clothes
Stretch your legs and say a wish
Join hands and say a prayer
And then silently close your eyes
Close your eyes cos' there's a world to be seen
Close your eyes my sweet baby
Cos' I am sending you a beautiful dream
Yes I am sending you a beautiful dream "

Twilight on a busy road

2011-07-17T08:36:00.000+05:30

The beautiful moon hides and emerges

From the ever moving clouds

As a rushing crowd largely ignores it

Moist winds return with a hint of rain

As the tall pine tree throws an indifferent gaze

A gang of dogs slips into a narrow lane

A speeding car splashes water from a puddle

On the smoking man who stands alone

The last remains of a tiring day

Merge into the darkening night

A feeling grows without a warning

A truth begins to assert itself

I Give You

2011-07-04T23:49:00.000+05:30

A boon and a blessing
With a book of fairytales
Where smiles float everywhere
I give you the sound of laughter
That came from my best jokes
I give you the face of the yellow moon
That floated on the sea on a hazy night
And I give you the touch of the midnight breeze
That moved the Eucalyptus leaves
I give you the shine in my eyes from a blossoming dream
I give you all that is pure and sacred
I give you all the beauty that ever came to me
My heart, I give you all this
And I give you a lot of pain

Songs never heard before

2011-06-27T16:26:00.000+05:30

End of the curving road
where the valley of flowers begins
Is it really what I am seeing
Or is it someone in me who pretends ?
A thousand whispers without any meaning
Memories of events that never occurred
Singing of songs never heard
Who is it who plays this game with me ?
Who is it who sends the memories
Who is it who sings the songs

सागर जैसी प्यास

2011-06-27T15:50:00.000+05:30

सागर जैसी प्यास

और मैं ओस चाट कर रह गया

बूँद कहीं टपकी आँखों से

और मैं बारिश बनकर बह गया

Restless

2011-06-23T17:06:00.000+05:30

Restlessly changing positions on the bed

Looking at the ceiling without a reason

I get disturbed by the music

That puts me to sleep every night

Walking through a street full of shops

That don't buy what I sell

Metaphor for my life ?

I think as I sip the last drop of mango juice

A smile that spreads all over the place

A gloom that makes the clouds darker

I want to know what's my mood

As I walk through the wind in the street

Beauty

2011-06-05T15:01:00.000+05:30

Through a hole in the dark, huge cloud
That moves slower than the city traffic
I see the most beautiful shade of blue I have ever seen
I watch mesmerized by the mysterious sky
Folding my arms tightly to shrink
As a chill runs all over my skin
A strong wind awakens the leaves of the Guava tree
A procession of white clouds in different shapes
Dragons, birds and sleeping giants move on the sky
My body of flesh and bones seems so out of place
Amongst these creatures of smoke
I wonder How long have they been travelling
How many times have they changed their shapes
An Old man on his morning walk crosses me
And I wonder as he stares at me
If Kurta and shorts is an odd combination
The darkness still reigns assisted by the silence
But a faint light starts to emerge in a corner of the sky
My eyes fixed on the sky as I stand still
I wish the world ends in this moment
I wish the sun never comes out
And then the wishes fade away
As I melt into the grandness that surrounds me
Till i hear the barking of some dogs
Who have come very close to me
I watch their barking mouths and sharp teeth
And then start to walk back to my house
As I remember I have to sleep
I walk slowly hearing the sound
Of my Kurta fluttering in the wind
I resolve to be back again
Thinking how I love this silence and this cool wind
And how I love this darkness
This darkness with the slightest touch of light.

from a bike on a cloudy day

2011-06-03T02:17:00.001+05:30

A Spoilt little child
Pees on the edge of the busy road
As I watch his urine ,move like a projectile
Going up and then curving down
To crash in the green grass
The clouds in the sky
Still waiting for release(relief? ) !!
The sad looking handsome horse
Standing where he always stands
Sniffing the ground
He could be the darling of the derby
If he remembered , he could run
Getting down the main road into the narrow lanes
I take the helmet off
To feel the wind on my face
And see my hair flying in the rear view mirror.

The Landmark

2011-05-06T16:35:00.000+05:30

And though Its not in its nature
To think about the expectations and opinions
I can't help admiring the water tap
I walk across,near the narrow road
That goes to and comes from the cigarette shop
Everyday I see a see a crowd around it
Some people standing in a queue
The remaining represented by their plastic pots
Stand or squat on the ground away from the queue
Waiting for their turn
Some others done with the waiting part are busy
Balancing the water filled pots on their heads and their cycles
Too busy with the moment to envy the guy
who has just arrived with a dozen pots
In his Auto Rickshaw
I have often watched this collection
Of Men, women, Boys and girls
With their Plastic pots and also pet jars
That used to hold chocolates on the counter of a shop
Before they started collecting water
I have seen them at different times of the day
Mostly with indifference
And sometimes with anger towards politicians
And Sometimes with an empathic concern too
Though I almost never forget these days
That the poor or the so called poor
Exploit me more frequently than the rich
The maid who remained absent for a week
But was aggressively unhappy
About the cut from her salary
Or the Rickshaw drivers who wanted
Twenty or forty rupees more than what the meter showed
(I am somehow fine with ten extra )
And many more encounters
So frequent and so frustrating
That I have often planned with some other victims
To invite all those bastards and their families
For a free meal
And as they all assemble to eat
With their greedy, dishonest mouths
Drop a bomb that will erase them all
But then this is not about my future as a mass murderer
But about the water tap that pours without a point of view
And about the little world around it
Where women talk about their husbands and kids
Where the noisy Drunkards of the night
Silently and dutifully tie the ends of a rope
To the necks of two water filled pots
To carry them back on their cycles
Probably wondering why water was more scarce than alcohol
This is also the world of that teenage girl
Who is smiling at the boy
Who moves around with a swagger
And plays a song on his mobile phone
And looks at her to find if she likes it
And while all this happens, I cannot see
Any anger or grudge on those faces
Its surprising how patience has converted so many
Without a church or a mission
I think about it for a while
As the water keeps falling in the plastic pots
That came light and will go heavy
And then I start walking again
Towards the cigarette shop
To buy a new pack

Dog on the road

2011-05-06T00:54:00.000+05:30

As i turn left
On the corner of the road
A black dog sitting on the ground
Suddenly stands up
And starts running with bike
Barking all the time
At me or the bike ?
I have seen so many dogs doing that
And I have leisurely wondered
If they were just playing
Or maybe preparing for the 100 meters sprint
At the dogs' Olympics
But right now,I have stopped the bike
(Cos' they stop when you stop)
And I am planning to drive very fast
In the direction of the dog
I want to scare him cos' he's scaring me

multicolored butterfly

2011-05-03T02:39:00.000+05:30

Remembering the multicolored butterfly

Chased by a group of restless boys

Who quietly escaped from home

As their parents snored

Under the hot air from the ceiling fans

On that sleepy summer afternoon

Remembering the multicolored butterfly

Captured by a group of tireless boys

Who were happy to hold her in their hands
And then turned sad cos' they broke her wings
Although they had tried hard
To hold her tenderly

Weekend mood of the Metropolis

2011-03-29T01:58:00.000+05:30

Saturday empty roads defining
The mood of the metropolis
Drops of rain start arriving
Smashing on the giant billboards
Lazy dogs without a bark
Waiting for the full moon night
Weary boys from the graveyard shift
Wake up yawning in the noon
Silent dinner or a noisy gathering ?
Hip Hop grooves or drunk head banging ?
Survivors from a crazy week
Start planning their sigh of relief
The deal makers, The code crackers
The job hoppers, The ESOPers
The trend setters, The go getters
The make believers, The super achievers
All these masters of their destinies
All these slaves of their schedules
Spent by the rigors of a predictable routine
They will celebrate this short escape
In the night
Sipping their expensive drinks
In a noisy pub
Dancing in a discotheque
where only couples are allowed
Watching a movie in a multiplex
where lighters and matchsticks are not allowed
Or just reading a book or watching TV
lying on the bed
Wishing desperately that the weekend stays
Longer than its lease
Trying to forget, Monday is on its way
Again.

Lying on a beach in Gokarna

2011-01-03T00:08:00.000+05:30

The grass grows higher
and I am completely
Under its shade
I hear someone laugh
but only half
the rest of it mixes in the air
as the stars walk and the trees dance
standing on the rock near the sea
I start spinning the world
I start changing shapes of everything around
Time slows down as the heart beats faster
Eyes get sleepy and lips go dry
As I am straddling
between a panic and a paradise
And then a silence starts to reign
A yellow moon starts floating on the sea
A black dog starts walking to me
While the wind crashes into trees
I am merging.......
With an ever stretching blur .......
And when I open my eyes
I find a wave, hundred feet high
Right above my head,waiting to crash!
A panic overtakes and I try to evade!
But I can't move an inch !!
I just can't escape !!!
The grass grows higher.....
And I am completely....
Under its shade......

A long lost world

2011-01-02T18:54:00.000+05:30

Sleeping blades of a giant windmill

Woken by a gentle breeze
A row of Eucalyptus trees

Staring at the orange sun

shining on the light blue sky

A silent child on his father's cycle
Shivering in the winter morning
Watching parrots flying high
He thinks of one who talks in a cage

Father never tired of paddling
Singing a song he always sings
Stopping at a little shop
At the end of a muddy track
Buys Chocolates and a tennis ball
And the child has started smiling

Paddling again on a curving road
Black and solid it goes to a school
Where a ringing bell tells the time
Rushing towards the gate of school
Waving hand at his standing father
The child hurries to meet his friends

Playing with friends whole day long
Not for a moment missing his father
And then through the years
Fighting all the usual battles
Trying to find a place to stand
All these mornings long forgotten.......

Till a moment suddenly flashes
Images of a world, lost very long ago
Of a windmill near the Eucalyptus trees
Of a shiny morning with a lazy wind
Of a magic shop on a curving road
Of a noisy, old, tireless cycle
And of miles and miles of a father and son.....

A longing so deep that it starts to hurt
Wanting to be a in a place, that doesn't exist
Yet when the pangs of the loss, start to ease
You feel blessed to know
There's a place you belong to
Even if you'll never be there again
And for once you know
your memory will be your relief
Yes for once you know
your burden will be your release

big blur

2010-11-02T02:52:00.000+05:30

standing alone in a crowded bar

I start searching for a stranger

as I pretend

to be waiting for a friend ........

running behind the waves

that recede from the shore,

I can't stop laughing

as a big blur of drunken happiness

surrounds me ....

the unborn poet

2010-09-21T19:41:00.000+05:30

In the stillness of the night
there goes on a struggle of expression
where one moment tempted
by the gains in rhyme
loses sight of the meaning
that inspired it
while another stands in despair
holding an idea that flourishes
and then, too overwhelmed
by its own profoundness
refuses to wear any words
but the night wasted so far
still pins its hopes on a magical moment
as it breathes in anticipation
impatiently waiting on the edge of creation
enduring the labor pain

midnight road

2010-09-08T13:11:00.000+05:30

On the deserted midnight road
which looks wider than it really is
a lonely street dog wanders around
sniffing the ground from time to time
as I watch it from the window
blowing out smoke from my lungs
the curving road
dressed in the yellow of neon lights
settling in the lap of silence
as the wind gets weaker
to fit in with the mood
when a noise erupts from a distance
and the ears of the lonely dog
go up in attention
before he sprints away barking
to meet the noises
and as the sleeping road wakes up complaining
I decide to sleep
sending last puff of the cigarette smoke
to follow the gang of barking dogs

दंगा

2010-09-08T11:45:00.001+05:30

गुस्से से पगलाई भीड़
या फ़िर भीड़ से पगलाया गुस्सा ?

polite people

2010-09-02T16:09:00.000+05:30

A Caustic remark
hits me right in the heart
A loud roar of laughter erupts around me
As i receive the hurt
It seems a great joke has been told
And then a thick mass of air
Rushes up my lungs
As anger quickly captures pain's territory
And I am all set to release
A string of swear words
When something stops me
And I look again
At all those laughing faces
I wear a faint smile for a while
And then start sipping my drink
Planning my revenge joke

existence

2010-08-29T13:53:00.000+05:30

the raindrop met the river
and the river found the sea
and then the sea was turned to vapors
when the sun came burning bright
and so the tiny drop yet again
floating in the sky
waiting for a river.........
that is searching for a sea........

lucky lizard

2010-08-22T03:17:00.000+05:30

once a lizard fell off the wall
and created panic in the room
some tried to stamp her with their boots
one tried to kill her with a broom
but the lucky lizard escaped it all
climbed up to settle high on the wall

आवाज़

2010-08-13T15:10:00.000+05:30

खामोश सा सच कोई कुछ देर सामने खड़ा होकर
चला जाता है निराश होकर
और मैं खोजता रहता हूँ इशारा किसी आवाज़ का

मौन

2010-08-13T12:50:00.000+05:30

आवाजों की भीड़ में हमने मौन गंवाया कितनी बार
जब जब हमने शब्द गढे अर्थ गंवाया उतनी बार

और कितनी आस्थाएं

2010-07-28T17:11:00.000+05:30

आमंत्रित करता छुपा हुआ , वो लक्ष्य महान
पर भूल भुलैया सा लगता ,मुझको मेरा पथ वर्तमान
परिवर्तन कि इच्छा मुझको फ़िर कर रही अपने अधीन
फिर नई दिशा में खिंचता जाता , पैरों तले फ़िर नई ज़मीन
फ़िर ख़त्म होती कथा पुरानी , फ़िर छिड़ता एक नया प्रसंग
अभी और कितनी आस्थाएं , अभी और कितने मोहभंग ?

survivor

2010-06-01T15:44:00.000+05:30

A compromise spread over many years

All but accomplished

all dissent and revolt dispatched to the silence

I kept calling peace

survivor I like to call myself

even as I often wonder what of me really survived

Even the barking dogs

2009-09-10T15:36:00.000+05:30

you preach anarchy,
they talk hierarchy
you feel like a bird,
they make you a tree
you can talk like a gypsy, if you persist
“But walk like a soldier” they will insist
so take your decision but ask their permission
don’t you know that’s been the tradition
so fall in line and feel no shame
cos’ it isn’t a war, its just a game
don’t worry for truth when facts are nearer
don’t hurry to death when life is dearer
so learn the dance for the tune they play
didn’t you hear some wise man say
when the bones are thrown to them
even the barking dogs must wag their tails

Under the Bridge

2009-09-10T15:24:00.000+05:30

I am standing outside the Dadar railway station. Dadar west to be precise. In Mumbai its important to know west from east. Not because Rudyard Kipling is very popular here but because you don’t want the taxi drivers shaking their heads in refusal when you ask them to take you to a certain place and because you don’t want to walk across a never ending bridge over the railway tracks as I did in Matunga after realizing I had walked out of the railway station from the wrong side. But this time, here in Dadar, I have come out from the right side. Yes, Dadar west is where I wanted to be. And I am standing under the road bridge between two of the number of walls built for supporting the bridge. On one side of this enclosure is the railway station and on the other is a very crowded street. Both continuously keep exchanging hordes of humans who pass through the centre of the space between the walls. The remaining space has been taken by police constables, who have pasted their khaki bums on wooden benches, and by numerous women selling flowers, whose bums and tokris have stabilized on the floor. “there are bums and there are bums” I think profoundly and in the next few seconds, the pictures of sofas, aero plane seats, mattresses and armchairs flash in my mind and then I return to profoundness thinking “ hierarchy of bums” .
My legs are aching because of standing and so I have started walking towards the crowded street and few meters later, I realize there’s a revolt happening in my bladder. I enter a restaurant and ask for the loo. A waiter informs me there’s none and keeps looking at me. I feel like I am being accused of unfairness for wanting to pee when I will pay just for the food. He finally informs there’s none. I walk out in search of a public toilet and as I desperately search for a small building with “keep Mumbai clean” slogan in Marathi, I remember how men in Allahabad - probably inspired by “private faces in public places are nicer and wiser than public faces in private places” philosophy - fearlessly unzip their pants on the busiest of roads. And even though the men from my home town Jodhpur aren’t so intrepid, there are enough number of narrow, deserted lanes and bushes where the inflated bladders of suffering men can be revived to their original sizes. I feel pity for the men of Dadar along with a universal pity for women. In the next 5 minutes, I have inquired from 3 people to finally arrive at a small yellow structure with a leaking plastic water tank on its roof. I walk in and do the needful.
Ten minutes later, I am again standing under the bridge watching the flower selling women pierce white thread through a series of flowers to make gajras. The cops on the wooden benches are devouring vada paavs while the huge mass of humans keeps getting poured into and sucked out of the railway station. I feel very restless standing so I start walking up and down, looking around aimlessly and suddenly a poster on the wall behind the flower sellers catches my attention. It’s a big poster where lord Shiva sits with his beautiful wife Parvati. And while, Parvati is adorned with a Saree and Gold Jewelry that would give inferiority complex to all the bahus of Ekta kapoor soaps, the simple Shiva is content with tiger skin wrapped on his body and an aggressive looking snake hanging from his neck. The poster next to this one is also about Shiva but captures his life at a latter point of time where Shiva and Parvati are joined by their sons for the photo session. The pot bellied Ganesha looks rather sad sitting near his father. He has probably just read a report about the dangers of obesity. Mama’s boy kartik looks pretty happy to be near his mother Parvati whose Saree and gold jewelry are still impeccable. No wonder, she is flashing a big smile. However, hubby Shiva no longer looks the free spirited, mountain dwelling son of nature and his silk dhoti and the golden crown on his head tell the tale of the thorough domestication he has undergone. I feel sorry for him and blame Parvati for all this. “.......... what a woman can do to your soul”. I recall from one of my favorite Eagles’ songs. Further left, is one more poster of Shiva where he stands alone with his right hand raised high in the air. He looks like a charismatic political leader waving to a huge crowd. I am happy to see that the silk Dhoti and the golden crown have been abandoned. Shiva is unadulterated power with the tiger skin and the aggressive snake. The freely flowing locks and strong legs ready to move are adding dynamism to that power. There is no suggestion if this isn’t a picture from Shiva’s bachelor days but for freedom’s sake I hope that it portrays a day when Shiva had had enough of the oppressive family life. Of a wife who perpetually craves for fancy Sarees and gold jewelry and does not like his dressing sense, of a son who got too fat too young. “Go back dear Shiva! Mt. Kailash and marijuana and your weird but fun loving friends are calling you!” I plead in my head. I watch that fascinating picture of liberation for some more time and then search for more posters on the wall but I can’t find any except one that informs that a certain Guruji will be very kindly answering the queries of spiritually hungry devotees at a certain place at a certain time. I decide to walk to the other side of the wall and immediately get confronted by a flood of posters but this time there’s no place for Shiva and his family. No other gods either. I conclude this is the place where Nietzsche declared “God is dead” and then fix my attention to the profane posters on the wall. At the top is a series of old posters having black background and in essence their job is to inform people that Orion is the No. 1 English teaching institute of India and if you decided to call the number given at the bottom of the poster, you’d find all the call centre jobs diving into your lap. Further down the poster, Orion goes for the kill, slamming a“100% job guarantee!” statement- placed inside a bright, exploding star- on the reader’s consciousness to make him go crazy to make that call. But then Orion probably hasn’t heard about the slips between the cups and the lips though scarily enough for them, one willing provider of those “slips” has crept up very close. I am talking about the most proliferated poster on this wall. About the newest, the brightest and the most colorful posters on this wall. Yes I am talking about the posters of Fernandes. The rationale for their presence here is to convey that you get to learn the best English at the Fernandes institute if you had the willingness to part with 500(preceded by “only”) rupees every month. And though unlike Orion, Fernandes doesn’t indulge in the number game, it is very clear that it is no lesser competitive in spirit. It actually has taken the Orion bull by its horns by pasting many of its posters on top of the Orion posters. However, it probably doesn’t want to be seen a monopolist and therefore the top part of the Orion posters has been left uncovered as if telling the reader “ once you have gone through our message, you could also read that loser’s name!”. Now, Fernandes does seem a tad unkind to its competitors but to its potential clients, it is all care and concern. This is very evident from the black strip at the bottom of the poster in which one of the favorite words of Mankind- “free”- is followed by “personality development”. However, altruism apart, this also comes out as a very shrewd strategic move. “free personality development” probably seeks to nullify the impact of Orion’s “100% job guarantee” by implying that jobs may come and go but the personality stays with you forever and if you manage to develop it well enough, it will always keep you in good stead and to make sure that superiority of “personality approach” over “ job approach” is decisively established, a well developed personality is presented in form of a photograph of a plump woman wearing a bright blue suit and an even brighter red lispstick. The woman, who I instantly know is Fernandes, looks back over her left shoulder and flashes a red, confident, proud smile which in absence of any contradicting evidence makes me concede that Ms. Fernandes is the epitome of success and I am silently captured by a sense of awe as I keep looking at her smile. However, the spell is broken as my eyes move down and encounter Ms. Fernandes’ oversized Butt which the camera probably captured in its carelessness or naughtiness. But then I wonder if it is Ms. Fernandes’ subtle way of saying that all parts of a well developed personality should be well developed. Silly mistake or smart move, Ms. Fernandes’ aura of invincibility has taken a beating in my eyes. “if the if doesn’t claim you, the but(t) will !!” I think wickedly and laugh even as Ms. Fernandes smiles proudly all over the wall. (WIP)

टकराव

2007-10-26T04:47:00.000+05:30

गहरा बहुत धंसा हुआ , धरती के भीतर

वृक्ष की जड़ों जैसा

आकाश को छू लेने की पर

रह रह के उठती चाह है ये

एक स्वप्न का एक तथ्य से टकराव है ये

इस अन्तहीन से सफ़र में

शरीर कब का थक चुका पर

आत्मा के बल को लेकर

आगे बढ़ते पाँव हैं ये

एक स्वप्न का एक तथ्य से टकराव है ये

कितनी ही बार

2007-10-25T20:13:00.000+05:30

स्मृतियों के रथ पर भूत नगर
मैं जाता हूँ कितनी ही बार
उन अवशेषों के बीच ठहर
मैं जाता हूँ कितनी ही बार
तन तो है बंदी वर्तमान का
कभी लाँघ सका ना उसके द्वार
पर मन को मुड़ते समय पथ पर
मैं पाता हूँ कितनी ही बार
है काल की शक्ति मेरी दुर्बलता
वो छोड़ सभी घटनाएँ पीछे
चलता रहा अपनी रफ़्तार
और घटित पर पछताने मैं
रह जाता हूँ कितनी ही बार

दर्द उतने गहरे हुए

2007-10-25T20:11:00.000+05:30

मुक्त हुआ उड़ता था जो मन , उस पे ही डर के पहरे हुए
ख्वाब जितने ऊँचे हुए ,दर्द उतने गहरे हुए
दौड़ती थी बिना रुके कभी जो मेरी कल्पना
हैं उसके पग ठहरे हुए
चिल्ला चिल्ला कर थक गई वाचाल इच्छाएं मेरी
वरदान देना था जिन्हें, वो देव सब बहरे हुए .